These three kings of the orient, they are not. A bit intoxicated, however? We’re going to assume so.
KEYE reports that Sunday night, December 11, Jose Flores, Christopher Guerrero, and Alfredo Reyna Jr. were driving through a southeast Austin neighborhood, jiggling car door handles and causing mischief. Multiple witnesses in the neighborhood reported seeing them engage in plenty of suspicious and illegal activity including stealing a stereo from a car, casing a home and entering its yard through a side fence.
The witness who saw them enter the yard then saw them walking out of the home with a variety of boxes thought to be Christmas gifts. We’re assuming they were full of pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums, checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums.
But no, they didn’t stop there. Much like the Grinch who stole all of the food from the icebox and shoved the Christmas tree right up the chimney, these guys were caught by police with a case of Dos Equis (which surveillance video revealed to have been stolen from a parked car whose window they smashed), a nativity scene, and a Christmas angel.
Rather than a crisis of consciousness and the melting of an icy heart by the songs of the citizens of Whoville, these guys’ Christmas caper was done in by some quick-acting police. When police arrived on Turnstone Drive, an officer saw one of the suspects carrying a box. That suspect then jumped into the passenger seat as the driver prepared to take off. The office then boxed the suspects in with his patrol vehicle. The three suspects are charged with burglary of a non-residence.